tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20271597.post2753657558962882570..comments2023-07-26T05:47:42.745-07:00Comments on A Twisted Sense of Funny: USA Is Better Than The Rest of the WorldMr. Twistedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01612030977068036401noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20271597.post-92152778694163749892009-09-09T11:30:29.119-07:002009-09-09T11:30:29.119-07:001) Did you forget they CLOSED an airport in your a...1) Did you forget they CLOSED an airport in your area recently? For no good reason??<br />2) It did some good to have you slow down, you maniac! Did you run red lights over there, too?<br />3) And here... when they fail to provide you with a blueberry pancake option... whip out the "I served in Iraq" card, climb up on the table and yell loudly "make it bitches!" Seemed to work for you at Mimi's Cafe...<br />4) Please don't start a conversation with a female, using anything that sounds like "I can stop a river with my bare hands" or "I can guarantee my magic shoes won't get wet." Even the college bimbos you admired on a street corner... wait... were they college students... or...? Anyway... paid or otherwise, they will not fall for it. I hope. <br />5) And yet... you still haven't set up your voice mail. Interesting. <br />6) Gran Torino. Your copy. Nothing more to say. <br />7) Your family is truly amazing. And I will Spartan Kick you if you ever forget it. <br /><br />I am glad you are home.Kellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17567118828228900906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20271597.post-81446344805164113062009-09-09T10:13:36.087-07:002009-09-09T10:13:36.087-07:00And if the ID doesn't work, use the frying pan...And if the ID doesn't work, use the frying pan allocated during previous "inspections" and hit them over the head. Then clean out the house. Obviously they (the contents of the house as well as the dwellers) were in cahoots with the aforementioned treacherous implement and all must be removed now.Careynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20271597.post-23900396652737770322009-09-09T09:29:16.335-07:002009-09-09T09:29:16.335-07:00No no, you've got this 'furniture' con...No no, you've got this 'furniture' concept all wrong. See, you go up to someone's house in your fatigues. Knock on their door. When they answer, flash ID real fast and tell them that their chair/bed/non-stick frying pan is a danger to national security, and to them. <br /><br />Of course, they will quickly offer to turn over the treacherous utensil/furniture to you. Smile, trot off around the corner with it. Sit down and howl like a monkey. <br /><br />Repeat. <br /><br />And I would love to see you collect the stories into book form. Seriously. That would make my day.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com