Bode Miller Has Had One Too Many "Bode-Doobies"

Has anyone else seen these Nike Commercials featuring aspiring socialist Bode Miller? Unfortunately, I can't seem to find a link to one of them on the web, which means I can't quote the "exact wording," enabling me to make fun of it even further. So instead, I'll just make up some stuff. Which, from the looks of the commercial, is exactly what Bode did.

Essentially, Boodie's (yeah, I know, that's how I'm spelling it from here on out) philosophy centers around the idea that sports in this country have taken a wrong turn and led our children down a path of destruction by declaring things like "winners" and "losers." Horrific, I know. But wait, it gets better. He goes on to say how ironic it is that in society, people can be accepted for their different choices in lifestyle (e.g. if someone wanted to be a gay sheep-herder, say), but in sports, we can only accept people who are better than everyone else. Umm, Boodie? Sweetheart? That's what sports are all about, jackass. If we don't pick a winner, it seems kind of pointless, now doesn't it. Not so in Boodie's world, where apparently the sky is a much brighter, prettier color. According to him, we are paying the price in our society for leading our children to believe that winning is important. He's right, you know. We would all be much happier if all of the games we played ended in a tie. Remember the first game you watched or played in that ended in a tie? Remember how overjoyed you were? Yeah, that's how life should be. Everyone's a winner. And then we could all get together and eat plain white toast while listening to some Grateful Dead records. That would be swell.

The strangest part to me is that Nike has chosen to use this guy to represent them. Nike has had a pretty strong tradition over the last twenty or so years of using people that, well, go against pretty much everything Boodie says in his commercial. Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong... See a trend here? Yeah, they're all winners. They were all "better" than everyone else around them, multiple times. And they were recognized for that. Funny how that works.

It would be interesting to see if Boodie will give all the money he earned in his Nike advertising campaign to all the skiers who weren't good enough to get sponsored. After all, it's only fair.

Update: Chief editor of Twisted and ever lovely Kell pointed out that you can go here to watch some of Boodie's wisdom. Just go to the "barn" section (the website is a pain in butt). If you frequently spend your nights waxing philosophical about "the man" keeping you down and how following Phish is cool, but not the same as following the Dead, then a lot of what you will find on that site may make sense to you. If you are like the rest of us, however, it's just plain comical.