Every class you have ever taken has one. That one person who asks the most retarded questions imaginable, extending the time it takes to get through the material immeasurably. Yesterday, in my political science class, after the professor brought up the age discrimination act that prevents employers from discriminating against, well, age, this woman in the back of the class pipes up "well, the government is breaking their own rules because they don't let anyone in the military older than 35." Uhh, yeaaahhh.... I wish I could say this was the only time she said something like that, but the truth is, comments of these sorts come out of her mouth about every five minutes or so, painfully extending every lecture we are given.
At any rate, you've all had one of these people in numerous classes. Share an account of your most memorable one. Do it, or I will send Scientologists to each of your doorsteps and tell them that you are rich.
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1.) There was the guy in my Probate Class 3 semesters ago who was fluent in 3 languages other than English... impressive to be sure, but annoying as hell when everytime he was called on in class or had a question to ask and he'd start speaking in Spanish or German ... "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm taking all my notes in Spanish/German tonite and was thinking in that language" *rolls eyes* For all his propensity for languages, he lacked basic comprehension/reasoning skills... Yes, no matter what language the Will is written in, your mother can write you out and leave everything to her favorite nephew.
2.) Then there was the girl in my Bill of Rights class last Spring, young African American girl who wanted to make everything a racial issue. The times that she actually came to class and stayed awake she spent interrupting our very patient professor w/comments: "Well I watch Law & Order and I know how that works and that's against the law, or that's a violation of his rights, etc!" *sitting on hands to keep from reaching over and strangling her to death* She had great designs on going to law school and becoming a Judge... couldn't understand how she flunked the midterm. *Honey, you have to do more than sleep in your seat and 'participate' in class discussion to pass an Anderson class*
3.) Now there's this guy in my Law & Society class who owns the Peanut Gallery. We'll be having a lively discussion about a particular social/legal issue and then he'll chime in w/a total non-sequiter and we're all looking 'round puzzled trying to figure out where he's coming from. Beginning of the semester Prof. was discussing 'which came first, law or society' - which influences which? This is a hypothetical question that doesn't necessarily have a definitive answer... yet this guy thought there was..went on a 10 minute tangent that covered the Civil Rights movement moved to to William the Conqueror and ended with female genital mutilation in Africa. We're still not sure exactly what he was trying to say.
Never, never, never go to a group class where they are trying to teach you to fly an airplane.
You know who I am
I can imagine all the quacks that show up for flight school. They already know *everything* because they saw Top Gun 15 times. Which, don't get me wrong, so did I...
Wanna go up? Pull back. Wanna go down? Pull waaayyy back...and then give some right or left rudder. Oh wait then there is that whole stick shaker thing that will actually not allow one to do one these things...damn technology! All kidding aside my favorites are the guy who insisted that he knew a person that was allergic to salt...never mind that the human body cannot function without sodium and chlorine. And the guy who helped my ethics professor defend Michael Moore after we were forced to watch Roger and me in an ethics class I was taking. That was the turning point for me. Where I became disillusioned with the state of higher education in this nation. And started thinking like a republican, capitalist, constructionist. I have never looked back and thank God for men like Ronald Reagen, GW, and Mr. Burns..long live Monty
Blessedly, school is receding far enough into memory that I don't recall any specific incidents. I do remember the time my friend Mike rolled a dollar bill, crushed up a bunch of Smarties and snorted them off his desk. Based on visual observation, this isn't a good idea, but it does disrupt the learning process somewhat. And now you know what you'll actually remember from school in a few years.
Plane Geek - Yeah, I've got a few in my classes that will spout the Michael Moore crap, but for the most part, I ignore them. Every once in a while I will bring up a couple thoughts for them to ponder, but they'll figure it out in a few years when they get a real job anyway.
As to the Smarties comment - kind of along the lines of what my buddy Jason said not too long ago, most people go through college thinking that they are doing something incredible, while I'm old enough to know the whole time that it really isn't much more than a blurb on a resume. And snorting candy up one's nose, apparently.
There was this one time at band camp....
...a pack of wolves came. That is one of these funniest mpegs ever. I'll have to see if I can find it.
In all my math classes, there is always the person who wants to demonstrate their mathematical prowess by asking the teacher if this or that obscure method wouldn't be a better method to solve the problem we are doing on the board. Now call me a follower, rather than a leader, but I'd say the teacher's *probably* got it all under control.
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