Did you know that being married is like being nibbled to death by a duck?

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Leaving A Beautiful Corner of The World For...

The armpit? The butt-crack?

Yes, tonight I start the journey back to the Middle East, lovely land of opportunity that it is, and leave Australia behind. Dang it, that hurts more to write out than I thought it would... Heh.

The truth of the matter is, while I am not at all looking forward to going back to Iraq, I am ready to get on with it. Knowing that I have to go back there takes a lot out of a vacation like this, as opposed to just going "home" after.

That being said, I am grateful to have the opportunity to come to this wonderful place and enjoy the hospitality shown by some great friends. I have learned a lot on this trip, both about a different country and by doing some good ol' fashioned soul-searching while being here. Tropical beaches are great for that.

To summarize, Australia is a fantastic place filled with hopes and dreams where the roads are paved with chocolate, there are always rainbows, and the children all have gum-drop smiles. A bit like an Obama rally, to be honest... Seriously though, this is a great place, and it is made even better by the people. It is very laid back here, and everyone I have met has been more than willing to open their home to me and feed me. No one offered me their daughter, though, and I must say I'm a bit disgruntled about that. I mean, is that really that much to ask? Yes? Well that's not saying much from a country started by thieves!

Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, Australia is really cool. And way cooler than Iraq, for many reasons. Most of which are too lengthy to go into here, but I think the key point to touch on with this presentation is the complete lack of WAR seems to be a huge selling point for this place, as opposed to the other one. Which I am already getting sick of talking about. See what you made me do? Now I know why celebrities go crazy; the fans can be so demanding...

In short, I would like to mention that politics seem pretty similar here to America, the food is about the same -- save for the beet root they put on hamburgers... yes, really -- and "football" consists of way more people on the field trying much, much harder to pummel each other just for the sake of pummeling. Oh and in no way, shape, or form do I understand Cricket. At all. Nor do most Australians, from what I have gathered. When I ask them to explain it, after about 6 intelligible words they just kinda trail off...and...mumble...a lot. Then they try to pass it off as being the accent. Yeah, right. Fess up, ya wankers!

So my next post will be from the joyful land of Iraq, and with any luck they will reassign me to the bikini-model escort/protection detail I requested. I filled out all the proper paper-work, so I really don't see how they could deny me. I am that good, people.

Until then, think how much fun I will be having as you complete a full day of work and houshold chores, as well as probably watch a movie, and realize that I am still on a plane.


Jaym said...

Oh, but the best soul-searching is that done on a plane! Plenty of time, and something to take your mind off of your aching butt.

Now go contemplate why not being on the bikini-model protection detail is in your best interests!

Death by Boobs said...

Or you could join the bikini bodyguard team:

Mrs. Wakeandahalf said...

No one understands Cricket. Not even the players.

Kell said...

So... you will be sitting in one spot for hours at a time... People will have to bring you food and drinks... Yeah. Sounds nothing like what I am doing.

Safe travels... talk to you when you reach the ass cheek (first stop before the butt-crack).


Anonymous said...