Did you know that being married is like being nibbled to death by a duck?

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

On a High Note

I didn't want to leave the blog over the evening with a post about guns, and I really don't have any funny in me, so I figured if I couldn't think of anything to say, just let someone else say it:

"We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion
may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords
of memory, stretching from every battle-field, and patriot grave, to every
living heart and hearthstone, all over this broad land, will yet swell the
chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better
angels of our nature."
Abraham Lincoln, First inaugural Address, March 4, 1861.

And a good day to you all.

Gun Stuff

Interesting article on the possible adoption of a new service pistol on Strategypage here.

January 27, 2006: After two decades of use, the U.S. Department of Defense is
getting rid of its Beretta M9 9mm pistol, and going back to the 11.4mm (.45
caliber) weapon. There have been constant complaints about the lesser (compared
to the .45) hitting power of the 9mm.

I am torn on this issue. While I agree that they need a replacement for the Beretta, that opinion has much more to do with the Beretta itself, rather than the caliber. For instance, it is my understanding (I could be wrong) that a good number of the SFOD-D guys are carrying 9mm Glocks over in the desert. A lot of this has to do with reliability, but the fact is, if they can carry anything they want (and I'm pretty sure they can) then why do they "choose" a caliber that is supposedly so inferior?

My own opinion is that if you are down to your sidearm, things are pretty ugly already and it's not going to matter a whole lot at that point other than the overall reliabilty, and the shooters ability to hit the target. But as I said, I am torn on the issue (and by no means an expert), and would love to hear more input on the subject.

Update: I just received some inside intel that SFOD-D guys are actually carrying .40 S&W Glocks, which I was unaware of. This of course throws a little bit of a twist into the whole debate. Pretty reliable info, too.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Greatest. Blog. Ever.

You will never read anything more profound than that which you will read at this site.

Thanks to Dave at Garfield Ridge for pointing out that it's old, but I don't care. It's funny.


I just watched an entire episode of "24" and Jack Bauer never killed a single person. The obvious question when faced with a dilema such as this is, what would Jack Bauer do? This leads to a bit of a problem, as the literal working out of this is translated as "what would Jack Bauer do if Jack Bauer watched a show about Jack Bauer and Jack Bauer never killed anyone?" The answer should be that Jack Bauer would kill someone in that circumstance, but then, I have just seen evidence to suggest the contrary. This is what we call a "stupid circle", and I seem to be stuck in it.

Maybe I just need to start patterning my life after this guy from now on.

Terrorists Need Dictionaries

Zawahiri, in New Videotape, Says He Survived Airstrike - Number 2 al Qaeda man says in a video released Monday:

"Butcher of Washington, you are not only defeated and a liar, but also a

A failure? Really? Let me ask you something, if you go into a football game with a goal of scoring ten touchdowns in the first quarter while holding your opponent scoreless, and instead you score only eight touchdowns and your opponent scores a field goal, are you a "failure"? I don't think that's quite the word he was looking for. I think maybe he should have replaced "failure" with "a country which has made it really, really difficult for me to even leave this stinking cave that I have been in since mid September of 2001. And it really sucks 'cause I have totally missed all the new episodes of 'Mythbusters' because of it. Man, Jamie and Adam are the coolest."
Those words are very similar to each other, so I can see where he made the mistake that he did.

Nature At Work

Witnessed here for the first time in the wild, the momma plane nurses the baby plane while making their arduous daily journey for food and water. Researchers have speculated about this behavior for years, but until now had no real proof showing the weaning process of modern aircraft. It is a glorious day for planeologists all over the world.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Share Your Thoughts. C'mon, Share 'em Already!

My buddy Jason just did a posting about the movie Fight Club over at his site and it gave me an idea. I am curious to know everyone's thoughts on what movie had the biggest impact on them and why. I've been pretty charged up by a couple of movies, but I would like to know what everyone else thinks.

For me, although there are a few, I am going to have to say Band of Brothers. I know, technically it's a "mini-series", but there isn't anything else I have ever seen that stirs up that much emotion. It blows my mind how good of a job they did in portraying the soldiers and what they went through, and how it really just boils down to fighting for the man next to you. Actually quite stunning that Hollywood can do something that good every once in a while.

Feel free to ramble on as much as you like in the comments. And by no means does it have to be a "serious" movie. Maybe the lessons learned in Lone Wolf McQuade shaped you into the person you are today. I know it did for me.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Models Are Better Than You

Argentinean model wants special immigration status and re-entry to U.S. - Let's face it, are we concerned about too many people immigrating to the U.S., or too many ugly people?

Now her attorney is trying to get the calendar pinup back into this country by
classifying her as, quote, “an alien of extraordinary ability.”

Extraordinary ability such as....

considered her as an extraordinary ability, and that‘s probably her looks, her
singing abilities, and her looks, I guess.

Did he mention that she looks good? Oh and also that she is good looking... I, for one, see staring in such pivotal roles as the one she portrayed in Latinas Gone Wild as a major contribution to our society. A misunderstood genius, if you will, that our country should welcome with open arms. Forget these people who are trying to immigrate based on pointless reasons like "college", bring more people like her in. And her lawyer. That is the definition of "class" if there ever was one.

Thanks to the beautiful Zoo Keeper for the tip.

Like A Train Wreck. Only Worse.

Janet Reno sings "Respect" - If there is a hell, I'm pretty sure it mimics what I just witnessed in that video. The only thing that would have been worse is if Rosie O'Donnell had joined her on stage. If Dante were alive, I believe this would be added as the "Tenth Circle" in the Inferno. Only click on the link if you wish to eternally scorch your retinas, I'm going to go take a shower. With kerosene.

Friday, January 27, 2006

I Found A New Sensei

Man with 11-woman commune had stun gun? - Tokyo:

Police found a stun gun and tear gas Friday at the Tokyo home of a man who said
he persuaded 11 younger women to live with him by chanting a spell, media
reports said.
You don't say...

Shibuya, a bald, rotund man with bags under his eyes, has attracted heavy
media attention this week after claiming he chanted a spell to attract the

Still taking notes...

Asked what the incantation was, he told a newspaper: "When you say it, even
unattractive men become attractive. But I won't say it because if I do, I'll

Oh please, for the love of all that is good on this earth TELL ME HOW YOU DO IT MAN!!! That's it, I'm off to Japan. I, along with all the other nerds in the world, will study this man's teachings and learn the secrets he possesses.

Update: You can see a photo of this example of human perfection here.

That Whole "WMD" Thing

Iraq's WMD Secreted in Syria, Sada Says - Former number two man in the Iraqi Air Force says that Iraq's weapons of mass destruction were loaded onto passenger planes and moved to Syria before the war began. The only part of this that should be a revelation is the part about using commercial style aircraft. We knew he had them at one time, and we know Syria is not exactly friendly towards the US, so I think that what Sada is claiming is not only plausible, but more than likely very probable. It will be interesting to see if this gets any more attention.

I Could Take Him

If there is any kind of food shortage in Russia, it's most likely due to this guy. If I'm ever around this guy and a fight breaks out, he's mine. Seriously though, if they decide to use him in the Olympics, we might have to call Chuck Norris or something. Yikes.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Artistic Genes

The wait is finally over. We are finally putting out our long-awaited family album. Here's a glimpse at the cover:

Place your orders soon, as the first printing of this gem won't last long.

One Down...

With the first week of the semester is now behind me, I can say without a doubt, that I am far more intelligent than I was last Friday. I think the most enlightening part of the week came when a young man sitting behind me in one of my classes stated that "retirement is no longer an option since the government and big business is stealing all our money". What a bummer. And a hell of a way to find this out - being told by a 19 year old kid who can't pull his pants up high enough to run away from me when I decide to beat him senseless later on in the year. Or the young lady who informed us that 9/11 was, in fact, a conspiracy. She had seen the documentation. On the web. Again, this just sucks. I spend lots of time on the web and I had no idea. It's a damn good thing that the girl who gets her fashion ideas from slutgirl.com is here to set me straight. Otherwise I would be completely in the dark about pressing issues such as that one.

I only hope that the rest of the year can measure up to what I have learned so far. My fear is that I have already learned so much, that there won't be any room left in my little melon for all this knowledge.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Bending the Walls of Reality

A video that I would like to call Game-Master Doug-Doug and Friend was brought to my attention today. Let me just warn you, only watch this if you are into laughing really, really hard.

Truth be told, for those of you that haven't met me or seen me in a while, this is more of a documentary about what I've been up to. I will be attaining the eighth level tonight.

Support the troops. Wait, that's me!

Rightwingsparkle does a great job of adding to the smackdown of Joel Stein, the LA Times writer who said he doesn't support the troops.

I totally support the right of people to say what they feel, and to disagree on any issue. What really gets to me, and to most others serving in the military, is the outright condescension that comes with opinions like that of Joel Stein. We are not stupid. We knew what we were doing when we signed up (well, most of us did. I sometimes wonder about the kid who wore two left boots for two days straight in basic training)... At any rate, the vast majority of us serving in the military know why we are fighting. We are not "brainwashed" or "tricked", and to imply that we are is to call us ignorant. I would much rather have someone tell me that I am wrong for serving than to have them tell me that they feel sorry for me because they think I was lied to. It seems to be a trend of the anti-war crowd to patronize those who serve as if they know something we do not.

As I said, I have no problems with those who disagree. Just treat me like an adult when you do it.


Via Drudge -

L.A. Times writer: Why I don't support the troops - Do you think if I wrote an article about why I don't support the L.A. Times, anyone would care?

Teen beats up his grandmother - because she won't buy him beer - Wait, are they saying that there are other reasons to beat up one's grandmother?

Texas-Mexico Border Standoff Reported - Maybe John Wayne really is still alive. Personally, I think it could all be resolved with a one hour episode of Walker: Texas Ranger.

Pope Warns About Loveless Sex - Says those who engage in it may end up like gay sheep-herders.

See how I did that? I just ripped headlines off of a site and added "funny". I should be making huge money for this.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Government Subsidized Mail Order Brides

Government support for mail-order brides (Seoul, Korea) - Via Breitbart.com.

"South Korean farmers have been turning to brides from other parts of Asia
in recent years after struggling to woo local women, who are often less than
enthralled with the prospect of rural life."

Get. Out! What woman would not be totally swept off her feet by the idea of life on a South Korean farm? I don't buy it.

In all actuality, I am the ignorant one here. I figured that the U.S. was really the only place that mail order brides were popular. As there has to be women out there willing to put themselves up for, uhh, order, it would only make sense that those women would want to move up. And I guess it makes me sound little bit like an elitist to think that farming in South Korea doesn't sound like much of a move up from anywhere. Well, except for the Middle East. At least they won't chop off your head for showing your bare arms in South Korea. So I apologize to all the South Korean farmers who are reading this blog. It was not my intent to offend you.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Spec Ops Stuff

Pentagon plan seeks increase in special forces: As someone who has actually tried out for Special Forces, my opinion varies on this issue. On the one side, I am all for the increase of special operations troops, as it would make it easier for people like me to get in (i.e. those who are physically and mentally fit, but can't navigate their way out of a local Wal Mart). The other side is that Special Forces are just that; Special. They are that way because of a certain standard, and if that standard changes, it alters the dynamic of the unit itself.

Is there a way to increase the number of Special Forces without changing the standard? Sure, but it would, in my opinion, involve a complete restructuring of the Army's pay scale. Granted, I think this is something that should be done anyway. After all, why should a first lieutenant who drives a supply desk make more than a Staff Sergeant who is Special Forces qualified, gathering intelligence at the most dangerous levels all while running a company of Iraqi dissidents in combat operations? Seems silly, doesn't it? Yet, that's the way it works. If the Army wants more of these guys, pay them what they are worth. And then give them motorcycles that shoot rockets. Yeah.

Marlon Brando Was Gay

What?!? Brando was gay?!?!? What next, am I going to find out that Elton John is gay? Liberace? Tom Cruise??? Whatever, I'm going to go be by myself and listen to some Judas Priest and watch a couple Rock Hudson movies.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Hollywood is Lame

An interesting and powerful piece written by the father of a suicide bombing victim can be found here. It is written in response to the movie Paradise Now winning a Golden Globe award. I have not seen the movie, but as I understand it is a look into the lives of suicide bombers as they prepare to do their dirty work.

First, let me say that I believe award shows are beyond worthless. I could, and probably will at a later date, go on a long winded rant about why things like Grammys and Oscars are evil, but for now I would just like to point how shameful it is of the Golden Globes to celebrate something like suicide bombing during the time that we live in. Maybe they need to take a trip to the World Trade Center. Oh that's right, it's not there anymore. Bastards.

At any rate, the letter is short, but well worth the read.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Fat Guy in a Little Coat

US filmmaker Michael Moore weighs in on Canada's election -Hey, these guys stole my joke... Apparently, Mikey Moore is whining about Canada and conservatives and President Bush and not having any more chocolate syrup to put in his Coke... Who cares?

In "Bowling for Columbine," his documentary on gun violence in the United
States, Moore heads north to Canada to flee the rise of conservatism on US

Yeah, I notice he didn't stay there. Ho-ho's must be cheaper here, what with the taxes and all.

"A man running the nation to the south of you is hoping you can lend him a
hand by picking Stephen Harper, because he's a man who shares his world view. Do
you want to help George Bush by turning Canada into his latest conquest?" Moore

Latest conquest? What were the other ones? Do we now lay claim to some land that I am not aware of? Because, let me tell you, some friends and I have got some wicked cool plans for Haiti...

"Far be it from me, as an American, to suggest what you should do," he added.

No, far be it for you, as anything, to suggest what anyone should do. Ever. Except maybe which Golden Corral buffet has the best cake selection. What a Gomer.

Israel Is Getting Anxious

Iran says Israeli threats are a 'childish game' - Via Drudge. You can call Israel's military action in the past a great many things, but "childish game" just doesn't really seem to apply, does it? I think the president of Iran is tired of being president, as that is the only reasonable explanation for taunting countries like the U.S. and Israel. In stead of just stepping down, maybe he figures he will wave a nuclear bomb in the face of the world and wait for the air strikes to "relieve" him of his command.

Also, Allah has some interesting links about Iran's nuclear testing. Scary stuff.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Miss Nevada

Judges irk mother of Miss Nevada - I know pretty much jack squat about beauty pageants, and I care even less. But what I thought was interesting about this article was not Miss Nevada's stance on nuclear waste (unless she was actually standing on nuclear waste. That would be cool), but a line that comes at the end of the article - "...a lyrical dancer who attends Orange Coast College". Umm, what the hell is a "lyrical dancer"? Anyone? Really, because I am curious. Does that mean she spells out words while she dances? Isn't that what cheerleaders do? "Gimme an 'N', gimme a 'U'", and so on... Or is this some weird, avant guard way of expressing oneself that is somehow funded by taxpayer dollars and involves naked people throwing feces and guys named "Serge" wearing a beret and a pony tail reciting haikus about "the darkness"? Just wondering, that's all.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Jack Bauer Vs. Chuck Norris

Similar to the list of Chuck Norris facts, there is now a list of facts about Jack Bauer. After reading these two lists, one must pose the question, what would happen if they actually engaged in combat with one another? I'm afraid that the only reasonable answer would involve the universe collapsing in on itself, and all life as we know it coming to an abrupt halt. Let us hope, for all of mankind, that we never see these two cross paths.

Blogger Hero

Jawa Report Helps Nab Would-be Terrorist - Interesting piece at My Pet Jawa about their involvement in the nabbing of a would be terrorist. Well worth the read, and it just goes to show the power of the blog when intelligent people use it for a good cause. Like that time last week when the President called me about my thoughts on human-rabbit hybrids raging a war on glow in the dark pigs. I don't want to get into too much detail, but suffice to say it's a good thing I answered my phone that day I tell you.

Movie Review: Underworld Evolution

Blood, gore, vampires, guns, explosions... Wow, does it get any better? Probably a lot, actually. But for the purpose of melting one's brain, this is will have to do for this week.
If you didn't see the first Underworld, and you are thinking about seeing this one in the theater, no worries. You won't spend a lot of time "out of the loop" on the plot. Does it have a plot? Maybe, I have no idea. Something about vampires versus werewolves, bloodlines, blaa blaa blaa... Apparently the producers felt they needed to include all that stuff, for whatever reason. I will give them high marks, however, for looking at the first movie and saying "Ya know, the one thing we were missing was a lot more shots of Kate Beckinsale's butt. Let's fix that in the second one". Seriously, I think Kate's derriere is going to win an academy award for the work it did in that leather body suit. As many times as they focused on it, she had better at least thank it if she receives an award of some kind for this movie. Not that there is any real danger of that happening.
In all seriousness... Ah, who am I kidding? There's no way you can take a movie like this seriously. If you want to be beaten over the head with special effects and loud explosions (Florida Ranger camp, I am looking in your direction), then check it out. Otherwise, go see a gay sheep-herder movie and listen to some Streisand albums.

Doing My Part

Apparently, Gayback Mountain is leading at the box office this week. I intend to do what I can to end that reign of terror by spending my $6.25 on this orgy of over-the-top violence, action, and girls in leather. It's the American way.

I will have a review later, as I'm sure there will be some seriously fine plot points to discuss at great length.

Important Opinion

STAR JONES: TERROR WAR BATTLE OF BUSH, BIN LADEN EGOS - Ever since the War On Terror began, the thought that prevailed over all others in my head was "Yeah, but what does Star Jones think about all of this???". It's about time she weighed in (get it? "Weighed"? Man, I'm a riot) with her well informed opinion. I will sleep much better tonight.

On Hold

We'll just call this "Hold blogging", as I am currently on hold with the military hospital. It is absolutely astonishing the amount of hoops we National Guardsman have to go through to get medical treatment. Keep in mind, this is an injury I received while on active duty, and I am now on my second week of red tape slashing just to get an appointment. Which is going to be with a general practitioner, who's main duty it will be to refer me to a specialist...

Just spoke with a live person!!! I now have an appointment for... next Friday. Super. That means it will be another week after that before I see a specialist. Your taxpayer dollars, hard at work.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

War Porn

Via The Jawa Report - Go here to see a video of some Blackwater guys getting some trigger time in Iraq. Probably not safe for work, or for kids. Or for people that don't like seeing guys in Oakleys shooting bad guys.

College Isn't Hard

Study: Most College Students Lack Skills - Please tell me that this isn't really news to anyone? There was once an episode of Jay Leno where he did his "Jay-walking" at a college campus, asking random, simple questions of students who were graduating. One of my favorites was "How many continents are there?", to which the student replied "I don't know, geography is not my major". Leno then asked "What is your major?", "Education" was the matter-of-fact response.
Scary? Yes. Surprising, most certainly not. Just as it is in high school, it is much too easy to "just get by" in college. I have worked with officers in the Army that graduated from West Point, supposedly one of our nation's premier educational institutions, who literally could not put on paper a sentence that obeyed the laws of the English language. Now that I am actually in college, I understand why. To many teachers simply do not care. Too many professors who are much more concerned with ranting about abortion and the war in Iraq than they are about actually teaching the subject matter at hand.
Studies like the one linked above are a joke. They tell us what we already know - that regardless of the college you went to, or the degree you obtained, you still need "real life" experience before you have any idea what you are doing. And being able to read helps, too. Or so I've been told.

Blogging is Hard Work

Major problems with this whole "blogspot" thing has been keeping me from posting more than I have. Too bad, because I had some stuff that would turn the world on it's ear. It's a conspiracy, I tell you.

Conditional Surrender

As most of you probably heard, the big news of the day is the new tape by Osama what's-his-face. To which I (along with most level-headed people) say "whoop-dee-do". So what. You are no longer even relevant, Osama. The infrastructure (if you ever really had one) to your "army" is gone. You live in a cave. Your fan club is about as strong as that of David Hasselhoff (who I hear is HUGE in Germany, so maybe he has that going for him). Give it up.

At any rate, you can read the "real" news report about the tape here, or you can read Mike Silverman's rendition of his conditional surrender here. The latter is much funnier, and more worth your time.

6. Sharia law must be implemented in at least one American city, preferably Las


Just Negotiate More

Sen. Clinton calls for sanctions against Iran - Hillary! is once again trying to make waves by saying things that, well, everyone already knows. Sanctions against Iran? Really? Wow, great idea. Get the U.N. involved? Even better. Maybe we can get another oil for food scam, er, I mean "program" going. Because Ahmadinejad seems like a nice, stable guy who will listen to reason. I'm sure if we convince him that nuking Israel is bad, he will admit where he went wrong and give up what he is doing. Right. This is the same man that said the holocaust was a "myth".

This is one of my favorites -
"I believe that we lost critical time in dealing with Iran because the White
House chose to downplay the threats and to outsource the negotiations," Clinton

Outsource the negotiations? To whom? The Secretary of State? Yeah, what the hell was the President thinking, "outsourcing" peace negotiations to the Secretary of State. It's not like that's her job... Oh no, wait a minute, YES IT IS! Holy cow...

Another -
"We cannot take any option off the table in sending a clear message to the
current leadership of Iran that they will not be permitted to acquire nuclear
weapons," Clinton said.

I'm writing this down. If we go in to Iran with military force, who do you think will be one of the first politicians complaining that we did the wrong thing? Well, except Teddy Kennedy, of course. I will hand it to her, though. She is doing what she can to sound "strong" on foreign policy. Campaigning already, Sen. Clinton?

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Pure Gold

This is one that's been around for a little while, but I just found the site again and had to link it. For those of you that have never read "Chuck Norris Facts", you're in for a real treat. I'll quote a few of my favorites as a sample:

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris
allows to live.

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane
and punched the ground.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the
man ate a fucking Indian.

Check out the rest, you won't regret it.

No Way

STUDIO EXECS PREFER 'BROKEBACK' OVER 'MUNICH'; SPIELBERG SAID DISPLEASED - I, for one, am shocked that Spielberg would be upset over this. I mean, just because you spent the last year and a half of your life dedicated to making a movie about a terrorist attack (that was not only a true story, but might hold some relevance to today's world) and you got beat out by a movie about a couple of lonely sheep-herders who get a little frisky, doesn't mean you should be "displeased". Why on earth would that bother you, Steve? Maybe if you would have had the Israeli intelligence operatives slow dance with each other while blowing up bad guys, then you would be recognized for making a good film. You just weren't sensitive enough. You didn't take enough risks. Next time, you'll know.

Of course, all of you realize that this means Spielberg will inevitably make something along the lines of "Saving Ryan's Privates." Sick. You're all sick for making me write that.

A Sense of Calm

I am once again humbled in the presence of greatness. Spending time at the ocean has a way of making me feel small, yet makes life seem meaningful all at the same time. Much the same as Willem Dafoe's character in the movie Platoon said about the stars, there is no right or wrong at the ocean, it's just there. It's hard not to talk about it without sounding like a pot-smoking, dreadlock-wearing hippie (not to offend the pot-smoking, dreadlock-wearing hippies out there, by any means), but the simplicity of life always becomes very apparent to me when I spend time at the ocean. There isn't an amusement park ride or a Hollywood production that can even hold a candle to what mother nature offers us free of charge. I thank God for the opportunity to live in a place where so much beauty is so readily available to all of us. We are truly blessed.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Ocean Bound

I have a week left until school starts, I have no commitments here for the next two days, and I haven't been to the Pacific ocean in a while, so... I have been meaning to go spend a day or two on the coast for a couple months now, as life seems to simplifiy itself whenver I stare at the ocean. Don't ask me to explain it, it just is. Hopefully the legion of blog hungry fans out there can do without me for a day or two. Ha.

Until then, I leave you with an excerpt from what I consider one of the most powerful speeches ever given, in honor of the day. We've all heard it a thousand times, but it's worth hearing again. Make the time to read the whole thing, if you can. Hat tip to another Vegas blogger for linking this.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the
true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all
men are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia
the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to
sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even
the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice
and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have
a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not
be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I
have a dream today.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!" Martin Luther King, jr.

It can't be said much better than that.

Someone? Anyone?

Attorney Taken Hostage in Ga. Law Office - According to news reports, a lawyer in Savannah, Georgia is currently being held hostage. Reports that the hostage taker is only asking for five dollars and that no one is willing to pay have yet to be confirmed.


Mayor Nagin: New Orleans Will Be 'Chocolate' Again - Is it racist for the mayor of a major city to declare that it will be predominately made up of one particular race? I'm not asking this as a rhetorical question, I really want to know. I can't keep it straight what is considered racist and what isn't, anymore. It's all just so confusing.


Rice Again Rules Out 2008 White House Run - Condoleezza Rice ruled out running for either the Presidency or Vice Presidency in 2008. In other news, a suddenly limber and energetic Sen. Hillary Clinton was seen doing cartwheels and backflips down her office hallway. A possible relation of the two stories is still being investigated.

If You're a Real Fan

'24' gets cut off in last 10 minutes - In a move reminiscent of the "Heidi game", WACH - TV in Columbia last night brilliantly decided that their local news was more important than the cliff-hanging season premier of '24', and cut away from it ten minutes before it ended.
I think in a situation like this, a true fan of the show needs to ask him/herself, what would Jack Bauer do? Most likely, he would travel to the tv station headquarters, tie up all the executives, torture and interrogate them, and blow up the building. All while rescuing the Secretary of State, who was most likely being held in the building. And doing it all with only one arm, because he had been shot in his other arm on the way to exacting his revenge on the people responsible for him missing his favorite show. Now, I'm not advocating violence against a television broadcasting station, but if you are a real fan, well then... 'nuff said.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

India looks at things differently.

Study: Selective-sex abortion claims 500,000 girls a year. Apparently in India it is much more common to have an abortion if the baby is going to be a girl. This will obviously offset the population numbers in the long term. The upside, of course, is that it is having a major impact on the spread of "cooties".
Seriously though, what the hell is wrong with people that think "let's have an abortion - oh never mind, it's going to be a boy"? Or - "We have the results of your sonogram. I'm so sorry to have to tell you, it's..... a girl." (Weeping, gnashing of teeth), "Oh the horror!".
Do they really not see the long term implications of something like this? I understand that in a caste system the male is much more valuable in regards to family prominence, but they do realize they need women to, say, make more babies, right? Sheesh. Weirdness, I tell you.

Iran Options

Victor Davis Hanson is once again on top of things as he lays out some of our options in dealing with a nuclear Iran. Scary stuff, but read the whole thing if you have time. As he says,
"Finally, the public must be warned that dealing with a nuclear Iran is not a
matter of a good versus a bad choice, but between a very bad one now and
something far, far worse to come

If we do end up exercising military options against Iran, refer back to articles like this one when people say "why don't we just negotiate with him more?". I hope that we can, but it's not looking that way. That guy is just plain nuts.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Murtha Smack Down

Here is a great video clip of an Infantryman freshly back from Afghanistan speaking his mind. As the man says, it speaks for itself. (You'll need Quicktime to play the video.)

DVD Review: The Constant Gardener

The Constant Gardener is a superbly acted and visually beautiful movie. Then why did it leave me bored? Because this is yet another attempt at Hollywood trying to be "serious". Why is it, that whenever a big budget movie has a serious message of some kind, it is hyped as being "thought provoking" or "deep and meaningful"? The part that often goes overlooked with movies like this is, what was the message, and was it even a good one?
Apparently, the message of The Constant Gardener is that corporations are evil, and care about nothing other than money. Wow, this is a new idea. Hollywood usually portrays big, faceless corporations as beacons of humanity and charity. How odd. No matter, this movie goes against the grain and does it's own thing (if you do not understand the fine art of sarcasm, please close your browser window at this time). It shows us how sad the situation in certain African countries is, and how there wouldn't be any problems if the big faceless corporations would stop being all corporationy and corporatizing everything (huh?).
Where the movie really fails is that this is as far as it goes in explaining everything. We are supposed to believe that all of the problems in Africa would magically go away if major drug companies just cared about people. No matter that millions of lives have been saved by US and British based companies due to humanitarian efforts, it's not enough because it was all for the money.
It's too bad, because visually there are some very powerful images in the movie. Some of the sites put into perspective how good we really have it here. And it is, as I said, very well acted. Too bad the big corporations ruined everything. Ruiners. (And they made me write the word "corporation" way too many times.)

Friday, January 13, 2006

Global Warming

New source of global warming gas found: plants - Well I think it's quite obvious that we must stop these plants from poluting the earth. Most likely the best approach would be to exercise some type of luxury tax on them, as it is quite obvious that they are in it just for the money. They don't care about the little people, and how we're suffering in their polluted world. These plants probably have their hands in the pockets of every politician in Washington. Our votes mean nothing as long as "big flora" continues to get rich off of our, uhh, oxygen. Yeah.

Red on Red

Insurgents vs al Qaeda - Via Instapundit - It's really a shame that more stories like this don't make the news. Many believe (and would have others do the same), that there is a large united force that our troops are fighting against, and that this force is all of the same mind and goal. As the article points out, this is pretty far from the truth, as there is as much fighting between Muslims as there is against coalition forces. They are blowing each other up and, funny as this sounds, are getting pretty tired of it. Who would have thought.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

What's up with Minnesota?

Vampire Candidate 'Won't Hide Evil Side' - At first glance, I would just laugh this off and pay it no mind. Then I remembered that Minnesota did, in fact, elect this man as it's governor at one time in recent history.

I can just see the debate in peoples minds as they go to the polls "Well, I'm definately for his tax cuts, his stance on education and his impaling of criminals, but I think I am against his blood drinking and devil worship. Hmm...". And people think California is the weird state.

More Weirdness

Rabbit-human embryo hybrid - Would a rabbit-human hybrid be more or less powerful than a glow in the dark pig (see below)? If there were a war between the two, who would come out on top? I'm going to side with the rabbit/human, which we shall refer to simply as "hubbit". First of all, hubbit would be way faster than the pig, and could leap over multiple pigs in a single bound. Plus, they multiply like, well, like bunnies. I hereby shift my allegiance away from the fluorescent swine, to the new super-race of rabbit-men and rabbit-women. Try and hunt those (you know who you are).


Taiwan breeds green-glowing pigs - I can think of absolutely no end of usefulness to a pig that glows in the dark, can you? A pig like that would be ten times cooler than Arnold from Green Acres. I wonder if the bacon from it would glow, too... the ham? The sausage? Is this the "magical animal" that Homer Simpson has been searching for all these years? We can only assume that it is, and that it could also mutate into some sort of "super pig" that is much smarter than most pigs, and also capable of uniting other pigs against mankind. You might think it sounds crazy, but don't say I didn't warn you when a fluorescent green pig shows up at your door and puts you in some sort of slave labor camp. I'm headed for the hills.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Reading Between the Lines

US has "intensive diplomacy" under way on Iran - Can we just go ahead and assume that "intensive diplomacy" is code for "burly dudes armed to the teeth doing things no one should know about"? We can only hope so.

Good News

Army Meets December Recruiting Goal . It's actually somewhat surprising that this made the news. There has been an awful lot of negative projections made by the press over the last year or two regarding the Army's recruiting. Being on the inside, I have mixed feelings about it. Part of me completely understands why they fall short, and why people don't want to join. On the other hand, I also know that the re-enlistment rate for people in combat arms has been the highest it's ever been. These are the people actually doing the fighting, and they are not only staying in but asking for more.
Could the Army do a better job of selling itself? Absolutely. People that serve in the Air Force for four years can come out with a lot of transferable knowledge and qualifications into the civilian world, whereas the Army... not so much. Granted the civilian world doesn't have a lot of "run up that hill and kill stuff" jobs (if it did, I would be golden), but there can still be some way of educating Army personel to better adapt to life after the military. And this goes beyond college courses available to soldiers. This has more to do with the training they receive. Take a regular Army medic, for example (91 whiskey, I believe); their training is a joke. You could theoretically spend 4 years as an Army medic and not even be EMT-Basic qualified. They have to be a part of a special operations unit to receive any kind of realistic training. This means that if they get out after their initial enlistment, they have zero civilian qualifications. Zip.
This is just one example, and to list more would just bore you. The point is, it's easy to see why the Army isn't very appealing in some regards. I am very thankful that there are people out there willing to raise their right hand, and am very glad that I did, but it's hard to argue with some of the downsides.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Music Apathy

Music downloading creates listener apathy. Ok, seriously, you know what really causes music apathy and lack of appreciation? Music that sucks. I mean, really, let's take an honest look at what this article says.
"The accessibility of music has meant that it is taken for granted and does
not require a deep emotional commitment once associated with music
Isn't it more likely that the music that is being pumped out recently is complete and utter crap? It's pretty hard to make a deep emotional commitment to someone like Kanye West or P. Diddy. Call me crazy.
"In the 19th century, music was seen as a highly valued treasure with
fundamental and near-mystical powers of human communication," said North.
Personally, I think there is a pretty monumental difference between someone like Beethoven, and someone like, say, Green Day, who know all of about 5 chords and two tempos. Is there a lack of appreciation for music today? Absolutely. But is that because it is so accessible, or because 99% of what we hear today is a rehash of what has already been done years ago? Think about it, who are the big artists today? Whether you like them or not is irrelevant. The point is, they aren't original. There are a number of albums that I listen to, and thoroughly enjoy, yet I have very little appreciation for. I know that it's just not that hard to learn a bunch of old songs and redo them with a slight twist. Sampling an old R&B tune, throwing a heavy computer generated bass beat to it, and going on a rant about "the man" does not warrant appreciation. You may be entertained by it, but that is entirely different. I am entertained by seeing one of my friends fall down the stairs, but that doesn't require talent. It's just plain funny.

I truly believe that if someone of the caliber of Miles Davis or Duke Ellington were to come out today, they would be appreciated just as those guys were and still are. Unfortunately for us, however, we are stuck with shows like American Idol throwing random acts of talentless hacks into the public eye and calling it music. And Celine "I'm living proof that we are not evolving" Dion. Yikes.

Movie Review: Munich

As I am not an expert on Israeli intelligence history, nor was I even alive at the time of the Munich Olympics, I will only comment on the movie itself. I know that there has been a lot said of the historical accuracy of the picture, but I will have to do some more reading on that subject before I can legitimately even have an opinion on it. And no, I won't be putting in any spoilers, but if you don't want to know anything about the movie before seeing it, then you best be skipping over this here post.
The movie, based on the book Vengeance, by George Jonas, starts right away with the taking of Israeli hostages at the Munich Olympics in 1972 by the group known as Black September. Real news footage is mixed in, giving it a nice air of authenticity (there is even a sound bite from Howard Cosell). Spielberg does an incredible job of maximizing the power of an event. To be honest, I can't put my finger on anything specific, but you come away from the opening scenes of this movie with a sense of how devastating an event this was.
The focus of the story then turns to Avner (played by Eric Bana), a Mossad agent hand picked to head a team who's mission will be to hunt down and kill all of the Palestinians involved in the massacre at Munich. There is a scene in which we are led to believe that Avner is hand picked by the prime minister, Golda Meir, herself which is a little cheesy, but it works ok for the film, as the real process of picking an agent for a special operation would probably be incredibly boring for movie goers. The movie follows Avner and his team as they move throughout Europe, doing the dirty deeds that need to be done. This is by no means a typical spy/espionage movie. The violence that takes place here is ugly and messy. Things don't work as they should, sometimes to catastrophic effects, kind of like the real world. Which is exactly why the film works so well. The viewer is presented with a more gritty look into a world that is usually portrayed on the big screen with fast cars and supermodels. Don't go looking for fast paced action. You won't find it here. Bana does an incredible job as the lead, although he seems to slip in and out of his accent a few times (huge pet peeve for me). A definite plus was seeing a lot of unknown actors. Sometimes it's cool to see a movie where you recognize everyone in it ("Isn't that the guy from..."), but for a movie like this, it's definitely a bigger impact when you don't have any presumptions about the people playing the part. Although he did a great job, I would almost prefer that Bana's character be played by a complete unknown. There are a few scenes featuring subtitles, but not many. Luckily, all Arabs and Israelis spoke English when all this happened... Ha.
Ultimately the movie is about a man's quest to justify his own actions. Something that we can all relate to, but something that becomes even more important for people dealing with others mortality. Is it right to take vengeance? And if so, at what cost? These are the overall themes of Munich, and why it is such an interesting story. There are some very powerful moments focusing on the struggle to weigh the importance of justice versus the pursuit of what most would call a "normal" life by the main character. That is essentially the centerpiece of the story.
The only real downside to the movie is it's length. I can only recall a couple of times that I have sat through a movie that eclipsed the two and a half hour mark and didn't see anything that they could have cut out without hurting the integrity of the picture. This is no exception, as it comes in at 2 hours and 44 minutes and there is most certainly about 20 minutes worth that could be done without. Don't get me wrong, it's not too long in the vain of Speilberg's abomination A.I., but it could be a little shorter and have the same effect.
Overall, a very, very well done movie dealing with a topic which is still very relevant today.

Monday, January 09, 2006


Toxic waste creates hermaphrodite Arctic polar bears . You know what? I didn't even read the whole article, but is that just the greatest headline or what? I don't know whether it would make a good title for a B level horror movie, or an Eskimo fetish porno. Either way, that is awesome.

In other freak-of-nature news, check out the picture of this cat. Why would it even matter if it only had one eye? I've never known a cat that kept it's eyes open more than about one hour a day, anyway.

Hockey Blog: Avalanche vs. Blues

If you haven't watched the "new NHL" yet, do yourself a favor and check it out. It's so much faster, cleaner, and just really fun to watch. And for those that don't know me, I'm a huge fan of the game to begin with. I cheer for the Avalanche, but I just enjoy watching the game regardless of who's playing.
The Avalanche were really flying this evening. One of those games that they just dominated start to finish. Marek Svatos, the young, star rookie for the Avs was on fire, and showed that he will be a force to be reckoned with in years to come. In all fairness, they were playing the St. Louis Blues, who hadn't scored a goal in about 4 games. And judging by the lack of Twinkie wrappers on the ice, Keith Tkachuk wasn't even playing. There was most likely a sale at Krispy Kreme or something like that. I'm not proud to say that he is supposed to play for Team USA during the Olympics. As patriotic as I am, I may end up cheering for the Czech Republic (stay true to my roots).

Final Score: Avs - 6
Blues - 1

SOCOM Marines

Interesting post on Blackfive about the new SOCOM (Special Operations Command) Marine unit here.
This has been quite an interesting topic for a number of years within the Special Operations community. Until now, there has never been a Marine unit actually assigned to SOCOM. As expressed in the article, in the past (and still, to some degree), the belief in the Marine Corp. command has been that all Marines are "special", and therefore no unit within the Corp. should receive preferential treatment.
Let me just say this - there is a problem that exists throughout the military, but it is exemplified here. And that is that so many commanders are so attached to tradition that they cannot see the benefits of change. Having worked with a few Marines, I can tell you that they are no different than any other branch in that there are good ones, and there are bad ones. Not all of them are cut out to do the same job, and to imply that they are is complete nonsense. This seems to be something that the Marine Corp. has a harder time accepting than any other branch of the service. Their commanders have for years maintained that all of their beloved Corp. is capable of special operations. As a result, their men that are a cut above the rest (e.g. Force Recon), have suffered due to a lack of funding that would be theirs for the taking if they were a part of Special Operations Command out of Tampa, Florida.
As the article states, this was also a problem in the Army for years. Commanders didn't want anything to do with Special Forces because they were "different", and they felt that good ol' fashioned, charge up the battlefield infantry was all any army would ever need. To say otherwise was nearly blasphemous. Thankfully, the Army has come around and not only seen the need for special operations troops, but embraced it and now uses them as a virtual spearhead for the War on Terror. Here's to hoping that the Marines can come around, as they are a much needed asset in what we do.

Retard Sighting

Harry "remember me? I sang 'Day-O' about thirty years ago" Belafonte apparently attended some sort of meeting with Hugo "is it too soon for genocide?" Chavez on Sunday and spouted a bunch of typical anti-American crapola. Now, for me to point this story out for that reason would just be stupid, as we all know that there is a lot of this out there. No, what caught my eye was the quote Mr. Day-O made, saying that "millions of Americans" support the Chavez revolution. Huh? Maybe I travel in the wrong circles. Maybe I'm not even in a circle. But I don't recall ever running into anyone that said "hey, that Chavez fella, he's ok in my book". This is the same guy that trades with and supports Cuba and Iran? The same guy that most likely has given aid and support to al Qaeda? As I said, maybe I'm out of touch, but I have a hard time seeing "millions" of Americans supporting his "revolucion". He is a snappy dresser, though. I have to give him that.
At any rate, just another example of how incredibly informed and intelligent most people in the limelight really are. Maybe Harry should just start co-headlining bat mitzvahs with hardcore rapper, 50 cent.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Weekend Warrior Pt. II

I'm going to do an abreviated reenactment of a scenario that took place for me this weekend at my National Guard duty. My intent was to pursue medical care for an injury I had sustained at Special Forces Selection, and this is a condensed version of how well that went. All names have been chaged to protect the innocent. Non vocalized thoughts are in italics.

Me: "Hey Sergeant, I hurt myself. Can I see a doctor?" (This may or may not be "exactly" the correct wording of the conversations that took place...)
Med. Sgt (Medical Sergeant): "Well, let's have you go ahead and do some push-ups, sit-ups, and the two mile run, then we'll go see the doc."
Me: "Uhh, are you serious?" He can't be serious.
Med. Sgt. : "Well, maybe not the push-ups".
Me: "Sure, you betcha" Oh that's much better...
One hour later, funniest thing, it hurts worse.
Me: "Can I see a doctor now?" Does he know what 'doctor' means?
Med. Sgt.: "Yeah, go to room 101 and see CPT. (Captain) X."
Me: "Yeah, roger that". Oh, I'm sure he'll be there.
10 minutes later, after finding room 101, funniest thing, he's not there. So our hero walks back to see the Med. Sgt.
Me: "He wasn't there". He probably doesn't exist.
Med. Sgt: "Well then just wait and try again later."
Me: "Roger that." Oh boy waiting! That's where I'm a viking!
One hour later, I convince the Med. Sgt. to try and track this mysterious CPT. X down with me, which, amazingly enough, we do.
CPT. X.: "Where does it hurt?"
Me: "Here". My brain. I'm having so much fun I can't stand it.
CPT. X. : "Well, it looks like you have got some serious damage that needs to be further evaluated." I have no idea what's wrong with this guy.
Me: "Ok, sir." Really? You're a genius. This guy has no idea what's wrong with me.
CPT. X. : "So you are going to have to fill out form numbers 347 through 695 so that we can establish that you did this on active duty, and get you treatment." Sucks to be him.
Me: "No problem, sir." Sucks to be me. Because, obviously, I am the first guy EVER to get hurt doing something like this, so I can see why this is so complicated.
Our hero then proceeds to gather up the needed signatures on his stack of paper work throughout the Company and submit it to anyone and everyone that seems important enough to make things happen. Unfortunately, there is actually only one guy that makes this all come together and, believe it or not, he is swamped with other work. We shall call him "SFC (Sergeant First Class) M". SFC. M. makes the wheels spin on all ends, and gets things done. Thankfully, because without him, I may still be sitting outside an office door, holding a stack of paper work, rocking back and forth in the fetal position and sucking my thumb. At any rate, SFC. M. has the ball rolling, and is doing the job of ten men (while ten other men sit around reading beat up copies of Easy Rider and looking at you like you are some kind of circus freak when you ask them for any kind of assistance). So, we shall see how well this all pans out for our hero. Will he get treatment? Will he get the shaft? Will he end up selling slushies at the local 7/11? Only time (and luck) will tell.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is your National Guard at it's best. And if all of this seems completely normal to you, then you could probably earn yourself a fairly high ranking position directing younger, less informed tools into combat. You gotta love it. You really do.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Weekend Warrior

Well, I am off for my fun filled weekend of being a Nasty Girl (aka, National Guard). My guess is that it will be a slow weekend, and I will only by called on by the president once or twice to save the free world from evil doers. No no, don't worry about me. I'm a trained professional. I have mopped floors and cleaned toilets for the military in four different states. There is no challenge to large for this soldier.

On a more serious note, a short but interesting piece on Ariel Sharon by National Review's Saul Singer can be found here. The man devoted over sixty years of his life to fighting Islamic terror. Agree with him or not, he has had a major impact on the world we live in. Let's hope and pray for the best in regards to his health.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

May I suggest...?

Since it is a new year, and so much to look forward to, I thought we could offer some suggestions to people in the limelight for resolutions they should make this year.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (President of Iran) - Try and be nice to your neighbors. An ideal place to start would be by not wishing death upon them. Just a thought.

Pat Robertson - Purchase large quantities of duct tape to cover up the hole above his chin.

This guy - To learn how to appreciate a good meal.

Kevin Mench (who?) of the Texas Rangers - Go ahead and spend a couple extra of those measley bucks you bust your hump for and cover up the tattoo on your arm which was apparently done by a blind guy at a county fair. I mean really, it's not like you don't have the money...

Laird Hamilton - Try to push the limits a little bit, and stop playing it safe all the time.

Gwyneth Paltrow - Go lots of places she hasn't been in a while, and maybe then she will figure out where her sanity is. Is she real, or just made up for the amusement of some wacky scientist somewhere?

And finally...

Abu Musab al Zarqawi - Find a better hiding place than this guy had. You're going to need it.

Sunday, January 01, 2006


Happy New Year to all, and also a Happy birthday to mom.

Any new years resolutions for me? Uhh, how about not going back to Ft. Bragg until it warms up? How about getting through another semester of college without losing my cool on a know-it-all professor? How about not seeing any movies staring George Clooney as a CIA agent (I would review that movie here, but it can be summed up by saying "STAY AWAY")? How about getting in even better shape than I was last year? And more importantly, how about not taking for granted all the little things, and how much we really have in this country.

Any suggestions for resolutions, feel free to leave in the comments.

May 2006 bring to all of us a deeper understanding of life and all that it has to offer.