Did you know that being married is like being nibbled to death by a duck?

Thursday, January 05, 2006

May I suggest...?

Since it is a new year, and so much to look forward to, I thought we could offer some suggestions to people in the limelight for resolutions they should make this year.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (President of Iran) - Try and be nice to your neighbors. An ideal place to start would be by not wishing death upon them. Just a thought.

Pat Robertson - Purchase large quantities of duct tape to cover up the hole above his chin.

This guy - To learn how to appreciate a good meal.

Kevin Mench (who?) of the Texas Rangers - Go ahead and spend a couple extra of those measley bucks you bust your hump for and cover up the tattoo on your arm which was apparently done by a blind guy at a county fair. I mean really, it's not like you don't have the money...

Laird Hamilton - Try to push the limits a little bit, and stop playing it safe all the time.

Gwyneth Paltrow - Go lots of places she hasn't been in a while, and maybe then she will figure out where her sanity is. Is she real, or just made up for the amusement of some wacky scientist somewhere?

And finally...

Abu Musab al Zarqawi - Find a better hiding place than this guy had. You're going to need it.

2 comments:

Kell said...

you out did yourself!

Jennifer Kuch said...

I think maybe a new years resolution for you should be to call your friends more often! LOL
Just in case you were interested in winning a little money, we are having a poker party here on January 14th, Saturday. Come and bring your family and your friends. Hope to see you soon...