Did you know that being married is like being nibbled to death by a duck?

Friday, January 20, 2006

Movie Review: Underworld Evolution

Blood, gore, vampires, guns, explosions... Wow, does it get any better? Probably a lot, actually. But for the purpose of melting one's brain, this is will have to do for this week.
If you didn't see the first Underworld, and you are thinking about seeing this one in the theater, no worries. You won't spend a lot of time "out of the loop" on the plot. Does it have a plot? Maybe, I have no idea. Something about vampires versus werewolves, bloodlines, blaa blaa blaa... Apparently the producers felt they needed to include all that stuff, for whatever reason. I will give them high marks, however, for looking at the first movie and saying "Ya know, the one thing we were missing was a lot more shots of Kate Beckinsale's butt. Let's fix that in the second one". Seriously, I think Kate's derriere is going to win an academy award for the work it did in that leather body suit. As many times as they focused on it, she had better at least thank it if she receives an award of some kind for this movie. Not that there is any real danger of that happening.
In all seriousness... Ah, who am I kidding? There's no way you can take a movie like this seriously. If you want to be beaten over the head with special effects and loud explosions (Florida Ranger camp, I am looking in your direction), then check it out. Otherwise, go see a gay sheep-herder movie and listen to some Streisand albums.

1 comment:

plane geek said...

Saw it and loved it. But what ever happened to silver bullets and wood stakes?? And yes Kate's posterior is something to behold. I think even a gay sheep herder(cuz are you listening)from Wyoming would jump at the chance to SNF that. And I am kinda partial to changing eye color depending on the mood. Although sexual tension and anger seem to produce the same eye color which might confuse a mere mortal. I wonder what her posterior would like whilst riding on Mamba??