Did you know that being married is like being nibbled to death by a duck?

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

The Court Jesters

There are just so many things I find amusing on this page that I'm not quite sure where to begin.

Tom Cruise in a recent interview:

"Your cynical media colleagues cast doubt over all the good that we do by
spreading a bunch of hocus pocus about us."

No, Tom, I'm afraid you take care of all the "hocus pocus" yourself when you talk about how you are going to eat your baby's placenta.

Mary J. Blige talking about God:

"He wants me to bling. He wants me to be the hottest thing on the block. I don't
know what kind of God the rest of y'all are serving, but the God I serve says,
'Mary, you need to be the hottest thing this year, and I'm gonna make sure
you're doing that'"

I think that can be backed up by scripture. It's in one of those little known verses, somewhere towards the back...

Kevin "the human leech" Federline on his decision to become a rapper:

"I don't have a choice. It's not like I can go and do construction, start
building houses in Malibu," K-Fed told Spin magazine. "They [The media] are
forcing me to do this, and I am glad they are. I am more than happy to do it."

And we, as a people, are more than happy to laugh hysterically as you fall flat on your face doing it. Is this guy serious? He really thinks the media forced him to do this? Wow, the media is even more powerful than I thought.

Sarah Jessica Parker whining about fame:

"Sometimes on the street I get the feeling people are disappointed with me as I
don't have the answers for them," Parker told Brazil's Epoca magazine. "I have
to remind them that I don't have a Ph.D. in sex or counseling. I'm an actress."

Oh come on, Sarah. You know the real reason they are disappointed in you is because you look even more like the charcter Skeletor from He-Man in person than you do on television. I would be freaked out, too. Skeletor was all kinds of bad news.


Miss Ginny said...

You totally ganked my Kevin Federline quote! I had already started the blog and everything. But you missed this one: "People, unless you go through it every day, really don't know what all these celebrities go through".

I hear him, man. Everytime I spend weekends away in Hawaii and days on end golfing and shopping, and have nice expensive dinners every night, I just feel *so* exhausted. It's really hard.

Mr. Twisted said...

I understand. It's like that time when one of the bell-boys asked me for my autograph. After I told my bodyguard to pummel him, it really made me think that this is no easy life. Regular folk don't have to put up with pressure like that.

Miss Ginny said...

he he. Actually, did you know that celebs and major athletes have hotel/tour contracts stating they cannot (will not) give out autographs. I remember one day at work- the look on the little boy's face when he went up to some basketball star for an autograph..he avoided eye contact and told the kid, "chill out, little man, chill out." And us front desk people have to be the ones to figure out how to explain why he why he can't get an autograph...

Mr. Twisted said...

Yeah, I've heard that before. That kind of crap infuriates me. Personally, I have never, nor will I ever, asked for an autograph. I have met a few famous people, but always felt that just saying hello was much more appropriate. For a kid, though? Gee, it sure must be hard to take ten seconds out of your mega-important life to sign your name. I would love to see that happen in person.