Did you know that being married is like being nibbled to death by a duck?

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Random Survey

From Jason's blog -
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? I'm White???
2. When is the next time you will have sex? Is that the whole "procreation" thing? I've heard of that...
3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"? Is this one of those questions where at the end of it, no matter what I say, I end up getting fired?
4. Favorite planet? Is Taco Bell a planet?
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile? The President. I swear he *never* stops calling...
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? The one that tells me how cool I am.
7. What shirt are you wearing? One that says "Hey Bush, get out of mine." Wait, what? That's a girls shirt? Huh...
8. Do you "label" yourself? Does "Professor Emeritus of Crapology" count?
9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing? Tire tread from a '46 Willy's Jeep. Or "Viet Cong Air's" as they are called.
10. Bright or Dark Room? Padded.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? He's got a lot of ability for a boy his size.
12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on? Two beds? What am I, a millionaire?
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Repositioning the coat hangers on my ceiling to deflect the satellite imagery focused on my room.
14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say? "POTUS is en route to your location, needs advice on..." The rest is classified.
5. Where is your letter box? I don't put letters in boxes. I use them to spell *words*. Duh.
16. What's a word that you say a lot? Is "Like, ya know" considered one word?
17.Who told you he/she loved you last? The mailman, which, to be quite honest, worries me a little.
18. Last furry thing you touched? Same answer as previous question. Is that normal?
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Is "deep fried" a drug?
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? My *staff* takes care of menial tasks like that.
21. Favorite age you have been so far? Most of the '90's is a bit of a blur, so...
22. Your worst enemy? That darn kid who's bigger than me who NEVER picks me for dodgeball and then laughs at me for wearing a helmet all the time. He's just jealous.
23. What is your current desk top picture? As if to say that David Cassidy isn't *always* on my desktop.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? I know you threw that in the trash can, but are you done with it?
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you take? This would imply that I don't already posses both... whoops, I may have said too much.
26. Do you like someone? That girl who punches me all the time in English class. But when I tried to talk to her, I threw up on her shirt. I think that's bad.
27. The last song you listened to? David Hasselhof's wicked rendition of "Hooked on a Feeling." Just doesn't get much better than that.
28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet? You don't mean like *real* bullets, do you? Cause those can hurt...
29. If you could punch 1 person in the face who's in your life right now, who would it be? That guy who holds up the stop sign for kids to cross the street. I don't like the cut of his jib one bit.
30. What is the closest object to your left foot? My helper monkey, who is currently awaiting his next command while getting tanked on spiced rum and Belgian waffles. Worthless piece of...

5 comments:

Kell said...

I have to tell you... and I hope this doesn't make your ego any larger, but this is the funniest thing you have ever posted. I was crying I laughed so hard.

17.Who told you he/she loved you last? The mailman, which, to be quite honest, worries me a little.
18. Last furry thing you touched? Same answer as previous question. Is that normal?

Damn that is good stuff.

Anonymous said...

I googled "Random Funny Survey"
and it brought up your page. Thank you. I've laughed for a good five minutes :-P

Anonymous said...

lmao
wow i love you

ikissedyourboyfriend said...

I found this on Google randomly and I swear it made my life complete. I laughed for a good long 20 minutes.

Lacie said...

Wow dude. Was trying to find funny surveys for myspace bulletins and found this. made my day. You are frickinhilarious