Did you know that being married is like being nibbled to death by a duck?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Concrete Proof! (In an intangible sense)

Finally! I found evidence to support my theory that Paris Hilton died while filming House of Wax, and subsequently was reanimated in a wax body to continue her wacky antics forever (provided she isn't exposed to high heat for extended periods of time).

I guess the bulletpoint of this presentation is that her skin seems to be made of a plasticky, unnatural substance.


Jonathan Scott said...

I couldn't get the "evidence" link to work, but no matter. I've always thought that Paris' face looks like a space-age, flexible polymer stretched over a hard, rubber mold.

Mr. Twisted said...

The overall point you are trying to drive home is that she is sort-of fake looking?

Jonathan Scott said...

Perhaps...I actually think that she is an android. I believe that Mr Hilton had has nuts nipped, and Mrs Hilton's motherly instincts became so strong that they invested a vast portion of their fortune to quite literally create offspring.