Did you know that being married is like being nibbled to death by a duck?

Monday, March 13, 2006

Hasselhoff Has Major Competition

Kim Jong-Il gets jiggy with it - I knew it would be hard to top the musical greatness of the last post, but I think this should do just fine.

NORTH Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il may launch a sneak attack on the world's pop
charts - with the love-song I Am a Front-line Soldier's Wife.

There's nothing sneaky about that. That is pure gold, baby!

Since the Korean War ceasefire in 1953, North Korea has waged an unending
propaganda war upon the "decadent cesspool" of Western liberal democracies,
especially the US, Japan and their allies.

But they waited this long to release a gem like Song of Coast Artillerywoman? What the hell, Kim? If I had been able to bee-bop to smooth sounds like that sooner, I would have given up this "decadent cesspool" years ago in favor of your land of groovy tunes.

For music-lovers tired of silly love songs, say the new North Korean hit tune, A Girl Innovator Dashing Like a Steed is a refreshing change of pace.
Other popular airs include Song of Coast Artillerywomen, Girl
Silk-weavers of Nyongbyon
and I Am a Front-line Soldier's Wife,
the KCNA news agency reported.

For my money, it doesn't rock much harder than Nyongbyon. Once they hit the bridge, forget it man, I am gone.

It is unclear whether the tunes have a beat that people can dance to.

Unclear to the writer of that article, maybe. But certainly not to me. I'm packing up my cowbell and moving to North Korea. Rock on, Kim Jong Il. Rock on.


Kell said...

Songs that promote family values... "Love your Wives"

Is that wives plural? Or Wife singular with a mistress on the side and he is simply giving a blanket shout-out to more than one homie?

Mr. Twisted said...

I think that's the beauty of his lyrics. They mean different things to different people. Nowhere is this more evident in the genius of "Song of Coast Artillerywoman." It captures the raw beauty of a North Korean indirect fire specialist, yet tells a tale of innocence lost in a way that truly grabs the heart. It's the sign of a truly great piece of art when it can convey so many different messages at the same time.

Jonathan Scott said...

I think now that he's in the music recording business, Kim needs to find a good, quality, gay hairstylist. He either does it himself or has it done by a straight guy. Very below standard for the music industry

Mr. Twisted said...

I dunno... I mean, every great artist starts trends. They don't follow them. I think in due time, you'll see everyone sporting that killer hairdo. They'll just call it "the Il."