I Found A New Sensei

Man with 11-woman commune had stun gun? - Tokyo:

Police found a stun gun and tear gas Friday at the Tokyo home of a man who said
he persuaded 11 younger women to live with him by chanting a spell, media
reports said.

You don't say...

Shibuya, a bald, rotund man with bags under his eyes, has attracted heavy
media attention this week after claiming he chanted a spell to attract the
women.

Still taking notes...

Asked what the incantation was, he told a newspaper: "When you say it, even
unattractive men become attractive. But I won't say it because if I do, I'll
die."

Oh please, for the love of all that is good on this earth TELL ME HOW YOU DO IT MAN!!! That's it, I'm off to Japan. I, along with all the other nerds in the world, will study this man's teachings and learn the secrets he possesses.

Update: You can see a photo of this example of human perfection here.