Did you know that being married is like being nibbled to death by a duck?

Friday, February 24, 2006

Totally Justifiable

Police: Man Angry About Slamming Door Killed Neighbor - I don't see a problem here.

Investigators believe Betty Shepperd was murdered over something that
sounds extremely trivial. They said 45-year-old Vito Loiacono was irritated that
Shepperd was slamming the door at night and waking him up.

Well I think it's high time someone finally stood up to one of these damn door-slammers. They have struck fear into the heart of our society for far too long, and people like this Vito fella are exactly what this country needs to stand up to them. Maybe now people will think twice before they slam a door again. I think there should probably even be some sort of waiting period enforced upon door-ownership. Possibly a background check to prevent habitual offenders from engaging in this despicable and disruptive activity. Bastards.

7 comments:

Kell said...

That has got to be the stupidest reason ever for harming or killing another human being. I can think of a number of other reasons that makes way more sense. Like, she wears red on Tuesdays. She likes to eat chicken from KFC. She believes that chocodiles are a fake food. That kind of thing.

Mr. Twisted said...

Hmmm, your specifics have me a bit intrigued... And don't ever, EVER imply that Chocodiles are fake. That is blaspheme.

~E said...

*mini hijack* Pray tell... what is a chocodile?? You keep talking 'bout them and I've never heard of such a thing before.

Mr. Twisted said...

Why,it's a twinkie dipped in chocolate, of course. Tasty treat, that.

Anonymous said...

Kell must be a really insensitive person; s/he must like slamming doors his/herself. Just the sort of person I would fantasize bumping off. Good on Vito; he really did it!

Anonymous said...

Kell must be a really insensitive person; s/he must like slamming doors his/herself. Just the sort of person I would fantasize bumping off. Good on Vito; he really did it!

Anonymous said...

I fully agree with everything Mr.Twisted said about these horrible door slammers. He and Vito are two brilliant people from the sounds of it; wish we had more of people like Mr.Twisted and Vito, and less of people like Kell!