Did you know that being married is like being nibbled to death by a duck?

Friday, February 03, 2006

Worst. Movie. Ever.

Although I saw this same post a couple of weeks ago on another site, I wanted your opinions, thoughts, and rants about the worst movie you ever saw. And it should be somewhat of a major release. I don't want to hear how bad you thought Chicks in Prison 4 was ('cause it was WAY better than #'s 5 & 6, let me tell you). And I want to hear about the one's that made you feel as if a part of your life was stolen. Example - The Blair Witch Project murdered part of my life forever. I will never get it back, and the best I can do is warn others of the potential psychological harm that will be visited upon you should you choose to watch such drivel.

More than one choice is not only acceptable, it is requested and will be rewarded with fortune and glory.

29 comments:

~E said...

'The Hours' is probably the most depressing movie I've ever seen. The blurb on the movie jacket made it sound like it should be something uplifting, but everyone committed suicide and/or died. Ranks right up there w/Anna Karenina for worst 'art' I've ever had the misfortune to experience.

And I'd dearly love to get the 30 minutes I wasted watching Mike Meyers' 'Cat in the Hat' back. =P

cuz said...

She Devil, with Rosanne Barr/Arnold
I saw that in high school because my girlfriend wanted to see it. It was the worst "movie" I have ever seen in my life. I broke up with her shortly after that and forcing me to watch that crap was a big reason.
J.

Mr. Twisted said...

Muse - I avoided that one because it looked exactly like what you just described. "Cat in the Hat", hmmm... don't remember that one.

J - I am so sorry you had to go through that. The preview for that one makes me feel like I need to take a shower.

Wakeandahalf said...

AI - I still do not understand why this was made

Bringing out the Dead? - Nicholas Cage in the worst of many bad roles

My Girl 2 - forced to watch, and I want that part of my life back.

cuz said...

Kell,
Was Life Aquatic really that bad? I haven't seen it but was thinking about it.
J.

Kell said...

The Piano..... Harvey naked..... Need I say more? It made me remember why I usually only see Disney/ Pixar/ Dreamworks movies.

and Life Aquatic. bad. bad. bad.

Kell said...

I would rather have my front teeth pulled than to sit there for the 25 minutes I made it through.... It was a free rental and I wanted my money back.

cuz said...

thanks for the warning
J.

Mr. Twisted said...

I second the Life Aquatic statement. Same goes for that whole series, The Royal Tenenbaums, and one other (can't remember the name) all made by the same people. Awful stuff.

A.I. - wouldn't have been nearly as bad had they chopped about 45 minutes out of it. Waayyyy too long.

J - I consulted the many law degrees that I posses from Harvard and Yale, and as it turns out, had you actually killed your girlfriend for making you watch She-Devil, no judge would have convicted you.

They actually made a My Girl 2? Yeesh.

Jason Evans said...

"Happiness" was pretty bad... I felt so dirty after watching that movie... No amount of anti-bacterial Dial could cleanse me after that movie..

plane geek said...

Is this limited to just one movie??? How about Cable Guy? And cuz who did you see that terrible movie with? Oops what about The Ring...crap,S*** and well where is my side arm??

Mr. Twisted said...

It is absolutely not limited to one movie. Rant away.

Cable Guy? That wasn't that bad! You're going to need to back that up. Any movie with Jim Carrey jousting a wussy Matthew Broderick has got something going for it.

El Jeffe said...

I was pretty let down by The Jacket. And I could watch Keira Knightley proof read second grade summer vacation reports and be entertained.

I'm surprised no one has mentioned the legion of comic book movies that create a void and a sense of violation in one's heart. Batman 3 & 4, X-Men 1, Hulk (Connelly couldn't even save it).
There's probably worse repressed deep in my subconscious, but not even Dr Phil could survive in there.

Mr. Twisted said...

I thought I was watching Miss Knightley do that very thing in that movie. Was there another plot? Must have missed it.

I will definately agree with you about Batman 3 & 4, pure abomination when compared to the genius that was "Batman Begins". The image of Danny Devito as a penquin is enough to make *me* want to wear the jacket.

Kell said...

I can't believe I left this gem off the list: D.E.B.S.

This is what happens when two husbands go to the video store for an "action" flick....

Mrs. WakeandaHalf said...

Mine already got mentioned! :( Oh well, they're bad enough to say it again... Bringing Out the Dead seriously put me off movies altogether and AI is not only three hours of my life, gone forever, but I am stupider for having seen it. If it had been only 15 minutes, those would be 15 bitterly regretted minutes.

Mr. Twisted said...

I wish I could say that I never saw D.E.B.S., but I would be lying. And yes, I probably rented solely based on the cover. For shame.

Kell said...

anyone else notice that Mr. Twisted failed to "agree" with putting D.E.B.S. on this list?? He only admitted to having watched it.... LOL. But, I have no idea why he would have actually enjoyed watching it.... hmmmmmm....Cute girls in ridiculous (and very tiny) school girl uniforms helping to save the world... against an equally attractive bad girl.

Mr. Twisted said...

Hey now, it was established very clear that the bad girl wasn't that bad. She was just mis-understood. And mildly attractive.

In all honesty, yes, it was a terrible movie. But having Jordana Brewster in it made it much *less* bad.

Jonathan Scott said...

After being absent for a few days, when I saw this article with 19 comments, I though, "Wow, 19 people must think that 'Solaris' sucked."

Maybe you all were fortunate enough to miss that one. The only person to benefit from that movie might have been George Clooney. Poor guy- I'm a big fan, but somehow he got roped into that one.

Mrs. WakeandaHalf said...

Oooh! Speaking of George Clooney reminded me of another, but I can't remember the name of it... What was the one with him & Nicole Kidman playing a nuclear scientist? It was awful, and boy was Kidman miscast. She came across as too dumb to spell her own name.

Mr. Twisted said...

Oh man, thanks a lot for bringing up that painful memory, Scotty. I had blanked that one out of my mind. I would have agreed with you about Clooney, until I saw the hunk of poo known as "Syriana". Just imagine "Solaris" except in the desert.

Mr. Twisted said...

Kidman not believable as a nuclear physicist? Gee, I dunno... I could totally see her briefing the Joint Cheifs about nuclear threats. Naked.

El Jeffe said...

Holy H-E-Double Hockey sticks! I can't believe Twisted and I allowed this movie to remain off the list for so long. It nearly ruined one of our birthdays. Brace yourself for a grimace signaling a painful memory:
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 2
Just one of the many grievances Tom Cruise must settle for when he comes before St Peter at the gates.

Mr. Twisted said...

el Jeffe, thanks a lot for reminding me of such a painful memory. Tom "I'm not in the closet" Cruise should spend the rest of his days worrying that he won't run into the two of us for that flaming heap of dung.
He's got some other stuff to answer for (Days of Thunder also comes to mind), but MI2 is right at the top. Even the lovely Thandie Newton couldn't save it.

laughing giant said...

I would have to say "Alexander" was probably the most hyped-up let-down I've ever seen. I enjoy all of those epic war movies, but the teenage homosexual acts caught on screen were unnecessary.
"The Others" with Nicole Kidman was another let-down for me.

Mr. Twisted said...

Laughing Giant - Agreed, Alexander was a huge let down. There is so much more they could have told about his life, not to mention actually trying to make it historically accurate and they chose to make it into a soap opera. Oliver Stone is a ninny.

Kell said...

Wide awake at 2 am, I found another movie to add... Catwoman. wow. So bad it kept me awake the rest of the night thinking... how could they allow this to be released?

Mr. Twisted said...

Catwoman... I pretty much figured that one was going to suck. Halle Berry is one of those women that are really beautiful as long as they don't do certain things. Like *talk* for example.